Mountains between us

I was sad when we hiked Mt. Batulao.

I remember how we were on our first trip in Mt. Pinatubo. How caring and gentle you were to me back then. How you always thought of me in your every step. Careful that I should fall or slip.

But in this second mountain we climbed, we were so far apart. It seemed, even though we were both climbing the same mountain, there was this whole other moutain separating us from each other. I could count, once, twice, how you came to my help. You were busy being a brother. Most of the time I would be left to look for others' help...or just do it on my own. And I asked myself, is this how far apart we've grown? 

This is why I cried when were reaching the summit. I was so overwhelmed by rhe distance between us even though you were just within arms' reach. You were so far away from me. And yet, I can just see you there, you're back turned against me.

I was envious of our other companions who recently got married. They were so in love, travelling together. And I thought, that should be us. That was how we should be travelling together. But no. We were just this high school friends. 

                        Friends...? 

You don't know how fucking painful that felt to me when you introduced me like that. Like you betrayed all our history, like they didn't at all happened. Like they were just some fairytale i conjured in my head. It was so painful, I wanted to just disappear. I reprimanded myself for bringing you along. Because i should be moving the fuck on all on my own. 

But I brought you along, because like Ton, when I travel without you, I always say to myself, Chie should be here with me. We should be doing this and seeing this together. And i think about how happy you would be seeing new places and experiencing new things. 

But it just hurt. How you could enjoy all these, I am there with you, but we weren't really together. Well, we aren't together...anymore.

There's just these mountains between us...and every second, I'm falling behind trying to catch up with you. 

Posted by afraudite at 2/18/2014 12:11:00 AM